The Pelican’s Perch

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Perch Score: 6.340

I could tear this movie a new one if I really wanted to, but c’mon, we all knew what we were getting into as we stood in the line of nerds waiting for the doors to open finally and our Indiana Jones adventure to begin. I went with two of my more movie savvy friends, one about to head to NY for film school, the other a successful freelance film kid, and they were far more interested to see this sequel than I was. As they debated which would ruin the movie more, Cate Blanchett’s forced accent or Shia LeBeouf’s 50’s biker kid with attitude role, I simply sat there thinking, it’s going to be all action and no plot and I’ll expect nothing more. If I walk out pleasantly surprised, well, then so be it.

I watched the other Indiana Jones movies as a kid and always enjoyed them, but I was never one to be able to tell you all about the movies or quote any lines, so the excitement to see another one after all these years wasn’t exactly there for me. But I still went in there ready to be entertained. The first you see of good ol’ Indy is his hat on the ground, which brought about some cheers, then Indy picks it up and from there on out, it was on like Donkey Kong. The beginning warehouse scene set the tone for the whole movie, as Indy helps the bad guys, who surround him with a good 30 men with guns, find something top secret he helped dig up a long time ago. Once he helped them, he was good as dead. They didn’t need him anymore, but that’s where you’re dead wrong. Oh, you guessed he’d get away? Yeah, me too. Flash, bang, destroy stuff, escape! Something like that. Fun stuff to watch at least.

So, after that scene I looked at Grant, who was shaking his head, and accepted that this would be the rest of the movie. The bulk of the plot followed for the next half hour or so, which is basically kid finds Indy needing help because they’re going to kill his mom, and Indy’s friend as well. Indy hesitantly goes, and before he knows it, he’s crawling through the jungle caves saying witty one-liners.

I realize I’m being facetious here, but that’s more me poking fun at it rather than disliking it at all. I enjoyed the action scenes quite a bit and was pretty surprised at how much plot was actually in the movie. I guess you can thank Spielberg for that. George Lucas, on the other hand, should not have been allowed any input. You could tell Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg had to compromise a lot to keep the movie respectable and not let Lucas crazy it up, but a few scenes slipped by, and my God are they over the top. All I will say is look out for the monkey scene. You can’t miss it. That’s when I turned to Grant and said, That’s strike one. It’s this movie’s Jar Jar Binks. Then, in the same chase scene we got both strike two and three. I won’t say what happens, just mention boat cars and waterfalls. That should be enough to give you an idea.

So, what’s good about it since I seem to be talking nothing but negative about this sequel. Well, it’s fun, the action is good, and the sets are amazing. All expected from a Spielberg action movie. All through high school, my dad and I saw a movie every weekend, no matter how bad the current selection of movies was. So, I tend to give decent to bad movies a second chance, and most times enjoy them. I think this is one of those decent movies I would’ve enjoyed seeing with my dad. It’s not great by any means, but it gives you exactly what you expected. All action, barely any plot. I’m glad I went on opening day to see it, as it was a pretty fun time, but something in me secretly wishes I would’ve just waited for it to get to the dollar theatre.